sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
