Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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