the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
