toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
My vagina is officially offended.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
