porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
