highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
