Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
