The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
