I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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