Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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