I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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