i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
