everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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