I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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