I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
