haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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