It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
bring money and cleavage
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize