he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
We smell like vodka and hangover
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