One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
We are all done wearing pants today
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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