Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
