the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
