i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
