K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
