yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
