She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
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