saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
