ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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