Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
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