can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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