I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
