Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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