No awkward lesbian experiences without me
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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