I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
