If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
3 2 1 whiskey
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
