I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
