Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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