It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
We are all done wearing pants today
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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