I'm gonna have a badass scar
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
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