Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
