so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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