i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
