i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
