It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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