you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
