Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
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