My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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