She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
bring money and cleavage
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
