Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
