dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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