Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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