i don't plan on having that self control this summer
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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