my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
