Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
