Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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