Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
