a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
