Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
