Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
