32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
